The Moon Shines Tonight
by Gaea Blackwell
Summary: Remus Lupin has a chance meeting with his old friend Sirius.
1. Chapter One

The Moon Shines Tonight 1/?

The house was abandoned, its windows busted all along the first floor. The maple tree beside it clung its overgrown branches to the walls as though it would fall without its support. The interior was dark, lonely without a resident. The hill it stood upon rose over the village like a towering giant, giving the house an imperial feeling – one that most felt it did not deserve.

But it was abandoned, and that was all that mattered.

He grabbed the nearest stick he could find, hefting it in his right hand, glancing over the rough bark and smoothing his hand over it. With only that moment's hesitation, he thrust the stick through the glass paneling of the front door, shattering it. The glass flew over the hard flooring, the stick clattering behind it. Tentatively, he reached a hand through the door and turned the lock on the other side. The door swung open easily, disappointing his tuned ears. They had expected a typical haunted-house squeak.

Looking around at his new surroundings, he found them meager but satisfying. The roof appeared sturdy, there was an easy chair set cozily near the fireplace, and it offered protection from the gales of wind sweeping up the hill. Anything was better than a tarp supported by sticks.

Lazily dropping his cloak to the dusty floor, he sat himself in the easy chair, sinking into its cushions. How long had it been since he felt something other than the earth beneath him? 

It was then that he realized he was still clutching his battered suitcase. He pulled it into his lap, staring at the lettering along the edge. He lifted a weary finger to the peeling letters, tracing them ever-so-lightly. His name.

Letting out a quiet sigh, he clicked it upon, and began taking out the contents. To a normal viewer, it would appear odd that this man could pull an entire lamp out from the tiny case. Yet he did, setting it beside the chair. He also grasped a lightweight stick, holding it firmly in his right hand. He breathed a sigh of relief. He was finally out of view of the villagers. The light from his wand would not give away his presence. He muttered quietly, waving the wand towards the fireplace, which erupted into a burst of flames, instantaneously warming the draft room. He glanced up at the lamp.

__

"Lumos!" He hissed into the darkness, the wand whizzing by the lamp. It burst with light, almost stinging his eyes as he adjusted to the brilliance of it. He smiled to himself, content at last. The suitcase found its way to the floor as he let his head lean back upon the cushion of the chair, his eyelids drooping steadily. It was not long before he found solace in the safety of sleep.

"Remus? Remus, you dead?"

Lupin stirred slightly in his sleep, vaguely aware that there was a voice calling his name, yet he refused to acknowledge it.

"Remus Lupin! Get up before I have to call your mother!"

He snorted. What mother? Only Sirius Black could make such an inconsiderate, crude remark to him…

He sighed. That's right. Only Sirius Black. He opened his eyes and sat up. "All right, how'd you find me?"

Sirius stood before him, the fire behind his back dying into soft embers. He shrugged, and glanced at the lamp beside Remus's chair. "I don't know. Hearing about abandoned houses suddenly lighting up in the middle of the night tend to make one quite skeptic."

Remus turned his gaze to the lamp beside him, and he cringed. He'd been so careful not to use his wand because of the tell-tale light, and then he'd been stupid enough to light up a lamp? How much worse could this night possibly get?

Sirius defiantly folded his arms over his chest, and gazed down at Remus. "So bad times have fallen upon you, old friend."

"As they have for you, I suspect."

Sirius grinned darkly. "Oh, Azkaban? I would hardly call those hard times."

"Wouldn't you, though?"

"Oh, no. More like grueling, painful, please-let-me-die-now times." A smirk graced his sunken face, and Remus couldn't help but smile at the sight of the expression on his old friend's face.

"Yes, then I would suppose you could say that hard times have fallen upon me. Or more like I have fallen upon them."

Sirius tilted his head inquisitively. "Not that it's any of my business, but do tell."

Remus sighed, tearing his gaze away from his friend. "I can't Sirius. I simply can't, at this point." He looked tentatively at the taller man, expecting him to be upset with the remark. But Sirius merely shrugged, looking away.

"All right then. Whenever you decide you can."

Grateful for his friend's acceptance of the matter, Remus rose to his feet, vainly attempting to straighten his robes. "I'll conjure you some breakfast, Sirius. Sit down, if you like."

Sirius obeyed, dropping himself into the seat Remus had vacated. Instantly, his eyes began drooping and he was forced to use his fist to keep his chin propped up. "Did you bewitch this thing to make you fall asleep, Remus?"

Remus's lips twitched into a smile. "No. I guess it's just that comfortable."

"Mm. Anything's more comfortable than tree roots jabbing into your back."

With a nod of agreement, Remus turned back to the fire, summoning a boiling pot from his opened suitcase. He hovered it over the fire, and used a spell to conjure water into the pot. Sirius watched disinterestedly, his eyes slowly unfocusing.

"Remus?"

"Hmm?"

"You don't think they'll catch me, do you?" the darker man asked quietly.

"No, Sirius, I don't."

Sirius accepted this, and closed his eyes, the heat from the fire warming his tired body. His lips parted slightly, another question begging to be purged. "Remus?" he asked again, more tentatively this time.

"Yes?" Remus poured a soup mix into the now-boiling water.

"You don't think they'll catch Harry, do you?"

Remus's steady hand faltered slightly, a bit of the soup mix drizzling into the fire. He had been asking himself that very question for quite a time, now. But how to answer Sirius? He tossed a careless glance over at the other man, catching sight for once of how very old Azkaban seemed to have turned him. He sighed inwardly, knowing that this possibility was not guaranteed, yet still put Harry into mortal danger. He wished he knew a better answer. Seeing Sirius draped upon the easy chair, he couldn't bare to tell what he knew to be the truth. He shrugged slightly, hoping to give an air of nonchalance. "That I cannot answer."

Sirius nodded slightly, his eyelids heavier by the moment. He seemed to accept the answer, but made no sound as he let himself fall into a dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter Two

The Moon Shines Tonight 02/?

It was not long before the sun had risen over the tiny village, peeking through the cracked windows of the house. Sirius remained draped over the chair, his chin tucked against his shoulder as he snored quietly. Remus's suitcase lay at his feet, still open from earlier that morning. But Remus had left the tiny room, preferring the solitude of the second floor.

The stairs groaned and creaked in protest as he climbed them, leaning against the banister for support. It was darker up here; the windows were boarded over and the shutters were drawn. But here and there the sunlight managed to invade, letting quiet streams of light crisscross over the floor in various patterns. The hallway from the stairs led to locked rooms, which would not have caused Remus a problem had he had the energy to unlock them with his wand. He let his eyes follow the patterns of light upon the floor, slowly sinking down to them and sitting upon the dusty floorboards. With a content sigh, he grazed his finger over one tiny stream, gathering dust on the tip as he did so.

Oh, James, he thought quietly, this was your dream house…yours and Lily's…

He swallowed thickly, choking back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. He had kept them back for fifteen years and he wasn't about to let them out now. But it had been so long, now. So long since he and Sirius had been here, so long since someone had lived here, so long since Voldemort had destroyed the lives dependent upon this house.

So long since they had died.

Remus lifted his hand, wiping the dust off on his wrinkled robes. James...James, you said this house was yours forever. You said your friends could call it home. Are you still here? Is this still our home? Or has Voldemort destroyed our promises, as well?

It was in that position, cross-legged on the floor, head bowed, that Sirius found Remus an hour later. Clunking his heavy boots upon the floorboards, the taller man crossed the room to his friend, crouching beside him. "Remus? Is this why you're here?" he asked quietly.

Remus lifted his head, looking up at Sirius. "What do you mean?"

"Are you here because of Lily and James?"

A quiet smirk grazed over Lupin's lips, and he clambered to his feet, dusting off his robes. "No. I'm here because I have nowhere else to go."

Sirius shook his head silently, straightening himself as well. "Yes, of course. I'm sure that's all it is. Just like you give up the warmth of the fire for a drafty hallway?"

"Would it be all right if I kept some things to myself for once, Sirius?"

"Whatever could you mean?"

Remus sighed, turning to go back down the creaky stairway. "I simply mean that you always find it appropriate to pry into others' business. I trust you with my life, you know that. But there are some things that I cannot tell even you."

Sirius almost laughed out loud. "This isn't another werewolf secret, is it?"

Lupin rolled his eyes, grasping the banister with one hand. "No. I would tell you if it were that."

Regarding his friend for a moment, Sirius tilted his head to the side slightly. "What is it, Remus? What's eating you?" he asked quietly, his sunken eyes softening considerably.

With a simple shake of the head, Remus dismissed Sirius's question, and disappeared down the stairway.

Sirius sighed to himself, looking around the dark hallway. It had seemed not too long ago that he had stood here, peering into Harry's nursery. James had patted him on the shoulder, and whispered into his ear that he was to be Harry's godfather. Not that long ago, indeed…

Reaching out a thin arm, Sirius grasped the doorknob to one of the rooms, testing it. He pulled away as he found it locked, and bit his lip in thought.

Deciding that some doors were better off left locked, he followed Remus down the stairs.

"Do you remember the time we found the entrance to the kitchen? James got so addicted to those cream puffs the house-elves handed out that we had to tie him down every night so he wouldn't go on midnight-snack hunts!"

Remus snorted loudly into his tea, just as he was about to swallow another drink. Sirius sat across from him, eyes gleaming with mischief at the carefully planned and executed remark. It had always been Sirius's trademark to catch people off guard with his jokes.

"Yes, I remember that. A little too well, really. Lily thought we were insane. She was about to tell Dumbledore that we were attempting to kidnap our best friend!"

"Not like we hadn't already tried that before, anyway."

Remus offered Sirius another cup of tea, shaking his head as he decided it was safe to swallow his own.

"But of course, good times always seem to outlast the bad ones, don't they?" Sirius asked his friend quietly, leaning back in his seat, and lifting the teacup to his lips.

Remus rose an inquisitive eyebrow, glancing up at Sirius. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, come off it, Remus. You know I won't let up until you tell me what's been going on with you, lately. I know the full moon is soon, but you've never been this upset about it before."

"Haven't I, though?" Trying to somehow change the subject, Remus turned his head, surveying the still-dying embers of the fire. In one swift movement, he raised his wand and revived it, turning back to Sirius as he felt the warm air drifting towards them once again. "There. Much better, don't you think?"

"Mm-hmm. I'm waiting, Moony."

Sighing, Remus set his teacup on the battered table, lowering his gaze slightly. "Sirius. I know you've never been one to take no for an answer, but I need to ask you right now to simply let me be, for the time. You're always burning with questions, Sirius, and I simply can't answer them right now."

"Why not, Moony? Are we not the last of the Marauders?"

"No, we're not. Despite your deepest desires, Wormtail is still alive. We all agreed on that night that we would forever be Marauders, and I believe there is still substance to Wormtail's character, despite the wrong he may have done."

Sirius looked as though he were about to explode. "WHAT?" he bellowed, rising to his feet. "Remus Lupin! If I didn't know you any better, I'd think you were serious!"

"I am."

The quiet affront seemed to calm Sirius slightly, but Remus could still hear the heaving of his lungs as he breathed in angrily. "You're insane," Sirius finally whispered. "Completely crackers."

"Be as it may, I believe it, Padfoot. People are always left with a little good in their lives. After all, you thought I was the spy, did you not? Yet I forgave you unconditionally."

"But…but it's Wormtail, Moony! Wormtail! The one who betrayed Lily and James! The one who left poor Harry an orphan!"

Remus looked up at the furious man, his lips set into a frown. "No. That was Voldemort, Sirius. Peter was merely acting as an aide."

"But Voldemort could never have found them, otherwise!"

Shrugging, Remus lowered his gaze once again. "Perhaps. But Peter didn't know what he was doing. He still doesn't. He's scared."

Sirius smirked, sinking back into his chair. "As he very well should be. If I ever get my hand on him, I swear I'll - "

"Sirius, you kill him, they'll put you right back into Azkaban."

"At least I'll have reason to be there this time!" Sirius clenched his hands into fists, digging his nails into the soft flesh of his palms.

Quietly, Remus looked back at his friend, almost pitying him. "And leave Harry with no one, again? You're his one hope, Sirius. You're the only adult he truly trusts." Seeing Sirius's coming protest, he held up a hand, and continued. "Yes, Dumbledore, McGonagall. He trusts them, too, but they're not the same. McGonagall is a teacher. McGonagall cannot break the rules for him. Dumbledore may, but Dumbledore has several other children to look out for, to protect. You're Harry's, and Harry's alone. He values that, Sirius. You've become a father to him."

Sirius snorted to himself. "A father that can never be there. A father that has to hide from authority and pretend he's a dog."

"But you're still there, Sirius. You're in his mind, just as his real father. But there's one greater difference between the two of you: he knows that he can reach you. He only sees James when danger is imminent. Imagine the associations he must make because of that. James, to him, means death. You, Sirius, you mean life to him. You give that boy hope. You can't throw that away for vengeance." Remus stared at Sirius for a long moment, unflinchingly, even as Sirius rose to his feet, and began pacing the room.

"But Wormtail has to pay," was the only thing to escape Padfoot's lips.

"He already has. He's been put under considerable pain and trials for his mistake, by his own Lord. Perhaps it's better to let Wormtail punish himself, Padfoot. Before we know it, he'll come crawling back to us, begging forgiveness. Then, Sirius, then we can put him in Azkaban. Then you can be free. But if Wormtail dies by your hand, you can never be free. Don't you understand that?"

Running a shaking hand through his matted hair, Sirius nodded silently, letting out a quiet breath. "And Harry would become Voldemort's."

"Exactly."


	3. Chapter Three

The Moon Shines Tonight 03/3

The next hour found Sirius sitting in the easy chair before the fire, lost in immense thought. Remus sat precariously on the dusty floor, scribbling madly in a worn journal, his quill racing across the pages. Sirius stole a glance towards him every once in awhile, but kept to himself.

"Tonight's a full moon," Remus said suddenly, still writing.

  
"And?" Sirius questioned.

"I have no Wolfsbane potion. There's a village full of people just down the hill. You're here, yes, but I've gotten away from you before. I should be leaving long before sunset."

Sirius nodded, picking a tiny dustball from his robes. "Want me to come along?"

Remus, head still bowed over the journal, shook it. "Stay here. I have a feeling that Harry will need you."

"He's at the Dursley's. Dumbledore made sure he was safe there."

Remus finally lifted his gaze, meeting Sirius's. "Not necessarily for protection, you know. You're his mentor, as well."

Sirius snorted to himself. "I always knew you'd be the better man for this job, not me."

"Me? I couldn't be trusted with a child, Padfoot. I'd have him sauteed and deep-fried before he could speak."

Sirius made a face of disgust. "Cannibalistic pig," he snickered.

Remus rolled his eyes, and bowed over the journal again.

Sirius stole another glance at him, and sighed, curiosity finally getting the better of him. "What on earth are you writing so much about?" he asked.

Remus shrugged, letting his quill pause for a moment. "It's for Harry. A book of…memories, if you will. James told me about it years and years ago."

"James?" Sirius rose an inquisitive eyebrow. "What about him?"

Remus began writing again. "He told me this idea of his, before he married Lily. He said, 'Moony, if I ever have a son, I want to have a journal to give him, a journal that describes all the fun we have and the things we do. I want him to be able to live all of it.' I thought it was baloney at the time – that was the night you found those 'magic' mushrooms and we were trying to find out what they did. Of course, being here and thinking of Harry, I remembered what James said. I supposed I could offer him the next best thing."

"Ah…always the sentimental one, Moony," Sirius taunted, sitting on the edge of the chair and leaning forward, trying to read over Remus's shoulder. "Weren't you going to let me write a little, at least?"

"Write what, precisely? Besides how much of a git you think Snape is?"

"Very funny," Sirius replied, wrinkling his nose. "At least let me see what you have, so far."

"It's between Harry and I," Remus answered sharply, setting his quill down. "Do you mind? I'd like to finish before I leave."

Sirius grinned impishly, and snatched the book from Remus's lap, jolting out of the chair, and dancing around the room to keep it out of his reach. "My, my, Moony! Forgotten Padfoot's quick hand, have we?"

Remus rose to his feet, his eyes slowly storming over. "Sirius. Give it back."

Padfoot flipped open the book to a random page. "Why? I thought Marauders shared everything."

"Not this, they don't," the other hissed quietly.

Sirius either ignored him or had not heard him, as he began to read the handwritten page before him.

"_Aside from the jokes, Harry, there is a very serious side to this story. I had moved past it in the thirteen years after you parent's deaths, but seeing you, so much like James, only brought everything back._

I am to blame, Harry. I am to blame."

Sirius furrowed his brows together, looking to Remus. "What are you on about, Moony? This is ridiculous!"

Remus sighed, dropping into the easy chair. "Keep reading then, since you find it so horribly intriguing."

Sirius did just that.

"_Sirius may have told you, but the reason Peter was chosen after him to be the Secret Keeper was because I had given Sirius reason to believe that I was the spy. Perhaps it was a miscalculation of my actions, maybe just a slip of the hand. But had I been a more model friend to your father and Sirius, I would have been chosen as Secret Keeper. You would still have parents, Harry. It's my fault."_

"Oh, Remus, I knew you were a drama queen, but I never thought you'd go this far. Taking the spotlight off of me now, are we?" Sirius said, grinning.

Remus did not retaliate. "There's more," he said quietly.

Sirius sighed and went on reading.

"_Likewise, Harry, I was the reason that Wormtail escaped last year. Had I remembered my Wolfsbane potion, things may be different at this moment. You would be happily living with Sirius, and Voldemort would most certainly not be back. It is for these reasons, Harry, that I am writing this for you: to remember the better times, before the Marauders were torn asunder, before you were alone in the world, and before Sirius was turned, well, serious."_

"You were _not_ the reason Wormtail escaped, Moony!" Sirius erupted. "If I had been able to hold you back, maybe he wouldn't have! If Harry hadn't been so much like James, maybe he wouldn't have. There are a _billion_ things that could have happened differently, and they didn't. You can't take the world upon your shoulders! Sometimes you have to set it aside and let yourself rest."

Remus finally met his friend's gaze, shrinking back slightly. "I know that. But it still haunts me."

"You think it doesn't do the same to me? Do you know how many times I have pondered over this very subject, Moony? I keep asking, 'what if…?' But there is no 'what if?' There is only 'it is.' Things are the way they are because they are. The only thing we can do is hope to change the future."

Sirius turned to the flames then, crossing his arms over his chest, still clutching the journal. "After all you've been through, Moony, I thought you would be the first to know this."

Remus remained silent for a moment, staring into the flames of his magic fire. "I know, Padfoot. But sometimes it feels as though _they're_ haunting me, and I have to come here to remember. I have to come here to remind myself that I once led a happier life," he said at last.

"But you didn't. You simply had people that made you feel better. They're gone now, and you've been lost all this time, because of it. You just need to find yourself, Moony. And until you do…" Sirius glanced back at his forlorn friend, "I would suggest revising your memories." At that, he carelessly tossed the journal into the fire.

Remus made no move to recover it.

"You fear the moon, Remus. But you also fear being alone. You've dealt with the former longer than you can remember, and you've only recently encountered the latter. But the moon shines tonight, Remus, and you're not afraid to face it. Why are you afraid to be alone? You know that the Marauders exist in more than a map. They exist in our memories, and you will always carry them with you. Don't fear them."

Remus silently tore his gaze from the fire and the disintegrating journal, focusing clearly on Sirius's face. "Come with me, Padfoot. Tonight."

But Sirius merely shook his head, smiling secretively.

The house was abandoned, its windows broken in. It stood upon a hill, towering over the village below. In the dark of the night, one could see a large black dog sweeping down the slope, away from the village and into the wilderness. On the porch of the house lay black robes and a battered suitcase. The house was silent.

Peeling letters on the suitcase glimmered in the light of the full moon. They read, "Professor R.J. Lupin."


End file.
